Bring on the RAIN!!!

Well...it's finally happened! I've felt it building for the last 3 weeks but the stress of life has caught up with me today. I've said many prayers to keep this day from coming. I have to say it isn't near the grief I was experiencing a year and a half ago.

We found out 8 weeks ago SURPRISE!!! We're pregnant !!!! Six weeks later a day before my 12Th week was to begin...dum dum dum. Here we go again, another miscarriage.

We were surprised to be pregnant but with the 12Th week quickly approaching we began planning how to tell people. Our parents were the first to know, we told them at week 10. Excitement was beginning to set in, planning began, buying diapers, seriously discussing a permanent method of birth-control, would we finally get a girl or add to our herd of boys???

I've coped okay...but that is fading and I can feel it today.

I'M NOT WRITING THIS FOR PITY!!!

I just need it out there. This is our 5Th miscarriage! I know the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle. I've accepted I won't know the reason behind all these losses. I am not in control. I've put my trust in HIM 100%, but this evening after a very challenging day with the boys...the storm rolled in and I am now grieving for the baby that was called Home too soon for my liking!

For those of you who have experienced this also you know how it feels! To have it happen ONCE hurts, TWICE the pain intensifies, more than that it ( for me anyhow) your mind tries to protect but your body reminds you daily. Each time you have to go to the Dr. it's a punch in the gut as you see other woman happily awaiting the arrival of their bundle OR a pregnant teen scared to death about what is soon coming to pass!!!

I am over the anger, and questioning why...but the longing to see and hold the baby we were so excited about 3 weeks ago keeps being brought to the forefront of my mind and the realization that I won't be able to do that (in this life) brings a dull hole in my heart. Time will heal,

THE SAVIOR WILL HEAL

...so until then

BRING ON THE RAIN!!!

IT"S THAT TIME!!!

We are going PRIVATE. We've started having some strange people leave comments and have decided it is finally time. Actually way over due. So leave your email and we will add you to the safe list!

Month of May in a Nutshell

Well we started May off the same way many of you did by celebrating Mother's Day! My boys were especially good to me this year. I had a homemade CROWN for my royal day. I got my kitchen aid, YEAH!!! And best of all I GOT TO SLEEP IN!!!

They wouldn't put the stuff down for pictures...I think it adds a little character, don't you???

A few days later Caden graduated from Kindergarten. What a bitter sweet day for me. He's growing up so fast and yet I'm so proud of the young man he is becoming!

The boys found our Halloween bucket out in the shop and the next thing I know we have our own version of the village people in our living room. They sure make me smile.

So one evening in May we happened to be working on our yard when I looked up to see one of many creations our Heavenly Father allows up to enjoy. Just as the sun was setting these clouds rolled in from no where. Levi and I climbed on the roof to get a better view and stayed up there till the sun had set that night.


Panoramic View! Breathtaking!!!


Memorial Day we decided to work on our backyard some more. We were about to pack up our tools and head to my parent's home to swim when we heard Caden's voice, " Uh guys...I'm bleeding here!" No panic in his voice just a sweet uh I need some help voice. It was more than a little cut.




I think he'll think twice next time he wants to use his daddy's 3lb sledge hammer and re-bar, don't you???


Ready to head HOME!!! HAPPY GUY!!!


AN HOUR LATER!



No worries, what ever caused the freakish blood spill had stopped before the Dr. looked at it again!

Healing just fine and posing with the re-bar that did all the damage!
May 28th My Great Uncle Francis William Green passed away. I honestly don't remember if I ever met him since my Grandpa Green passed away when I was 5 there wasn't a lot of communication with the Green side of the family. However my dad found out and called me up to drive to Albuquerque with him and my mom. It was so great to get to meet family I didn't know existed. I had a wonderful afternoon meeting my dad's two cousins, Sharmon and Rhonda, along with Rhonda's 4 sons (left to right) Allen, Austin, Rich, and Greg.

My mom and dad with the extended family! I sure wish I had met my uncle Francis. I believe some day I will. But for now I will only know him through the memories that his children and grandchildren were kind enough to share with me on that beautiful day in Albuquerque. I'm also thankful for a few memories they shared with me of my own grandfather, whom I only remember from family videos and pictures. Families truly are FOREVER!!!