It's totally NOT apple juice!!!

Levi had his 4 year check-up today. After an hour of waiting we were informed that Levi's chart is missing or miss-filed as they called it. Levi has to use the restroom so we go find a place to relieve his waters. Another 20 minutes go by... and we finally get in a room (still no chart) and 45 minutes later we finally talk with the doctor. Levi is growing fine, healthy, blah blah blah. I'm a little annoyed!!! Levi then gets his vaccines so he can attend pre-school and then doctor tells us they need a urine sample....SERIOUSLY??? You make us wait 2 hours from our appointment time because your staff has "MISS-FILED" my son's chart, gave him his vaccines ( 5 of them total) and now you think my son is going to pee on demand??? Yeah it didn't happen so we get home and Levi informs me he has to go again. So I run into the kitchen and grab the cup I was given for this special occasion. You know the drill, right? Clean, start going, catch in the cup. Levi is so amazed at all the bubbles we caught in the cup and then looks up at me with his big brown eyes and says," That is totally NOT apple juice mom. We need to make sure no one drinks it!"

So although I am still some what upset about the doctor visit today...Levi made my day!!!

Bring on the RAIN!!!

Well...it's finally happened! I've felt it building for the last 3 weeks but the stress of life has caught up with me today. I've said many prayers to keep this day from coming. I have to say it isn't near the grief I was experiencing a year and a half ago.

We found out 8 weeks ago SURPRISE!!! We're pregnant !!!! Six weeks later a day before my 12Th week was to begin...dum dum dum. Here we go again, another miscarriage.

We were surprised to be pregnant but with the 12Th week quickly approaching we began planning how to tell people. Our parents were the first to know, we told them at week 10. Excitement was beginning to set in, planning began, buying diapers, seriously discussing a permanent method of birth-control, would we finally get a girl or add to our herd of boys???

I've coped okay...but that is fading and I can feel it today.

I'M NOT WRITING THIS FOR PITY!!!

I just need it out there. This is our 5Th miscarriage! I know the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle. I've accepted I won't know the reason behind all these losses. I am not in control. I've put my trust in HIM 100%, but this evening after a very challenging day with the boys...the storm rolled in and I am now grieving for the baby that was called Home too soon for my liking!

For those of you who have experienced this also you know how it feels! To have it happen ONCE hurts, TWICE the pain intensifies, more than that it ( for me anyhow) your mind tries to protect but your body reminds you daily. Each time you have to go to the Dr. it's a punch in the gut as you see other woman happily awaiting the arrival of their bundle OR a pregnant teen scared to death about what is soon coming to pass!!!

I am over the anger, and questioning why...but the longing to see and hold the baby we were so excited about 3 weeks ago keeps being brought to the forefront of my mind and the realization that I won't be able to do that (in this life) brings a dull hole in my heart. Time will heal,

THE SAVIOR WILL HEAL

...so until then

BRING ON THE RAIN!!!

IT"S THAT TIME!!!

We are going PRIVATE. We've started having some strange people leave comments and have decided it is finally time. Actually way over due. So leave your email and we will add you to the safe list!